 Question
 | Punchline
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| Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change. |
| Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: None. That's a hardware problem. |
| Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb. |
| Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. |
| Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs. |
| Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession. |
| Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? | A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs. |
| Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time. |
| Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was. |
| Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? | A: You can unscrew a light bulb. |
| Q: How many MAC users does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Well I see the icon for removing lightbulbs, and I see the icon for putting in the new lightbulb. But what the heck do I do with this bulb I'm holding in my hand? |
| Q: How many PC users does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Change the lightbulb? Isn't it easier just to go out and buy a whole new system these days? |
| Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: None. When the lightbulb fails, they declare darkness as the new industry standard. |
| Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight. |
| Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb? | A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday. |
| Q: How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb? | A: About one third less than for a regular bulb. |
| Q: How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed? | A: This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile... |
| Q: How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget! |
| Q: How many football players does it take to change a light bulb? | A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it! |
| Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? | A: How many can you afford? |
| Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Lawyers don't change bulbs. Now if you're looking for someone to really screw a bulb... |
| Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: None. It turned itself in. |
| Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness. |
| Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: None. Zen masters carry their own light. |
| Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession. |
| Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years. |
| Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb. |
| Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: None. It turned itself in. |
| Q: How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Three. One to change the light bulb, one to be a witness, and the third to shoot the witness. |
| Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: None. Zen masters carry their own light. |
| Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession. |
| Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb? | A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years. |
| Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? | A: Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb. |
